I spend a lot of time talking to my clients about their thinking as a cognitive psychologist. Your thoughts are quite strong. They serve as the foundation for your emotions and the way you live. You are not your thoughts, however, is one of the most profound realizations that can be drawn from practicing and studying mindfulness, which has been extensively adopted by the psychological community.
Many people find this concept highly perplexing. How may your thoughts influence your feelings and actions while remaining separate from who you are?
To begin with, let's define what a "thought" is. As mental processes of the mind, thoughts might include beliefs, attitudes, images, and ideas. They could be awake or asleep. They can be simple or complicated, conscious or unconscious, and they can be. We absorb information, make decisions, and comprehend the world around us using our thoughts.
Thoughts aren't always accurate, correct, or incorrect. We can have thoughts about things that have absolutely no basis in reality. Our experiences and outside events can impact our thoughts, which fluctuate and alter. They don't make up all of who we are or are fixed in place.
Who are you, then, if not your thoughts?
You Are the Master of Your Thoughts
"You are the one who is observing your thoughts," is the response. Every one of us has some degree of conscious awareness that allows us to watch our thoughts, feelings, and experiences. We are the silent witnesses to our lives, watching our ideas arrive and go.
Consider it like this: Imagine yourself by a river, watching the water run by as you sit there. As the water flows downstream, it changes continuously. You are the one who is observing the water as it passes by. Your ideas function as the water in this comparison, and you serve as the spectator. You are not your ideas, just as you are not the water in the river. The consciousness that is watching them is you.
Although it can seem like a little distinction, it has significant effects on how we live. You risk becoming caught in your thoughts if you identify too strongly with them. When your beliefs are questioned or proven false, you may suffer because you have grown devoted to them. Negative or intrusive thoughts can also overtake you, which can have an adverse effect on your mental health and general well-being.
Yet you may put distance between your thoughts when you realize that you are not your thoughts. When faced with problems in life, being able to monitor your thoughts without getting sucked into them might help you maintain your composure, concentration, and center. Also, by becoming more conscious of your thought patterns and inclinations, you can free yourself from harmful or destructive thought habits.
This doesn't imply that you should disregard or minimize your thoughts. Your thoughts are a great source of knowledge and wisdom that assist you in understanding the world. However, they don't have to define you.
You are the chooser of your thoughts
Which thoughts are true? You get to decide as the observer? Which ideas are beneficial? To which of these thoughts do I wish to reply? Which ideas do I wish to block out? You have complete control over your thoughts, which gives you complete freedom in life.
Knowing that you have two mental systems—the automatic fast brain and the conscious slow brain—that are distinct enough to be referred to as two "separate brains" can help you comprehend what it means to be the chooser.
The majority of our daily thoughts originate from our automatic quick brain, which is a repository of knowledge we have acquired in the past. Why are you able to drive home while forgetting to exit the freeway? Because you don’t have to think much about it, your automatic brain has learned the way home and automatically generates the thoughts you need to execute the behavior that gets you there. This thinking happens so quickly that it’s often outside of your awareness. This is also the brain that can keep you stuck in old patterns.
We also employ a more conscious, thoughtful intellect to make thoughtful decisions. When you need to pay attention and learn something new, you use this type of mind. Because you have to slow down to properly concentrate on doing something you haven't done before, it is frequently referred to as the "slow brain." This is part of the brain that you utilize to become aware of your automatic thoughts and choose how to respond to them. When you want to alter your behavior and break free of ingrained automatic habits, you employ your conscious choice brain.
You become aware that you are the observer and the decision-maker while you are in your conscious mind.
How can you strengthen your relationship with this significant facet of yourself?
1. Engage in mindfulness. By cultivating a sense of separation from your thoughts and emotions, being mindful can help you become more aware of them. You can achieve a stronger sense of inner calm and tranquility by learning to monitor your thoughts without passing judgment.
2. Avoid being distracted. Choose a peaceful area to concentrate on connecting with your thoughts and feelings. Switch off your phone, go outside, and listen to the birds, wind, or your own breathing.
3. Publish a journal. You can better digest your feelings and connect with your conscious mind by writing down your thoughts, for example. Three things I learned about myself today; three things I can do better tomorrow.
4. Meditate. Meditation is another powerful tool for connecting with your conscious mind. By focusing on your breath and quieting your mind, you can access deeper levels of awareness and insight.
5. Obtain adequate rest. It may be challenging to communicate with your conscious mind when you are sleep deprived. To be completely present and engaged during the day, ensure you receive adequate sleep each night.
It takes time and work to become more aware of your conscious mind so that you can control and direct your thoughts, but the results are well worth the effort. You can make wiser judgments, be more original, and lead a more fulfilling life by remaining aware of your thoughts and feelings. Just remember to love yourself like no other!
Chris Packham, LAADC, M-RAS. CCDS, MSW, CS
