Emotional vampires drain the dynamic energy of those around them, often leaving their victims feeling exhausted, drained, and overwhelmed. They can be challenging to identify because they often appear charming, charismatic, and likeable. However, some signs can help you determine an emotional vampire.
- They are constantly negative: Emotional vampires tend to have a negative outlook on life and often bring others down with their negative attitude. They may complain about everything and never see the good in anything.
- They are always the victim: Emotional vampires often see themselves as victims in every situation, even when they are clearly at fault. They may blame others for their problems and refuse to take responsibility for their actions.
- They manipulate and control: Emotional vampires may try to manage and control those around them to get their way. They may use guilt, shame, or intimidation to get what they want.
- They are emotionally draining: Being around an emotional vampire can be emotionally draining, as they often demand a lot of attention and energy from those around them. They may be emotionally unstable and constantly seek reassurance or validation from others.
- They are emotionally unavailable: Emotional vampires may be emotionally unavailable, refusing to open up or be vulnerable with those around them. They may also be unable to recognize the emotional needs of others and maybe self-absorbed.
- They are self-centered. Emotional vampires may be more focused on their own needs rather than considering the needs and feelings of others.
- They are difficult to please. Emotional vampires may be difficult to please and find fault with others even when trying to help.
- They are manipulative. Emotional vampires may try to manipulate others to get what they want, using guilt, shame, or other tactics to control the behavior of those around them.
- They are demanding. Emotional vampires may expect a lot from others and maybe overly demanding of their time and attention.
- They are draining. Being around an emotional vampire can be exhausting, as they may constantly seek attention and support but rarely offer it in return.
When you encounter these emotional vampires, your boundaries will be direct, “I,” watching our pitch, tone, and volume, along with the rate. The last is your facial expression. This will help you remain patient and have a high tolerance for frustration.
If you believe you are in a relationship with an emotional vampire, you must set boundaries and limit the amount of time you spend with them. It may also be helpful to seek support from friends, family, or a therapist to help you cope with the emotional toll of being around an emotional vampire.
Chris Packham, LAADC, M-RAS, CCDS, CS
