When an uncomfortable emotion pops up in our mind, we try to run away from it or divert our focus to avoid the feeling taking control of us. We shove these emotions into the back of our minds because we are afraid of facing them or of the judgmental thoughts of society about being reactive. These thoughts start to become ruminating, intrusive thoughts throughout the day. They can hinder you from moving forward.
People find it a protective mechanism that allows them to avoid uncomfortable situations in front of them. But is holding back our emotions an excellent option to opt for? Or isn’t it just a temporary relief from the grief and uncomfortable bubbling of the feelings?
Running away from reality and avoiding emotions for so long is not a great idea. One must learn to deal with, feel, and heal it. Feelings require some time to be discussed and considered, creating a room to know them deeply. Yes! It will hurt, but it will certainly heal you from the inside.
Particularly negative thoughts are impossible to avoid. Everyone faces such thoughts at least once in their lives. We cannot prevent them, but we can learn to deal with them to better cope with stressful situations.
Identify the Feeling:
Take some time and focus on the type of emotion you are experiencing. For example, the STAR method (stop, think, assess, and respond). Whether upset, angry, or disappointed, track the mood and name it. These coping skills will only help if you are consistent and persistent.
Enlist the Emotions in a Mood Journal:
A person feels different emotions at various points in life. So how can someone track their feelings?
Keeping a mood journal is helpful in this regard. It helps jot down the feelings and responses a person goes through. It helps track the mood swings and disruptive behavior patterns of an individual. Enlisting feelings on paper also allows people to think about them more deeply.
Even these mood journals are helpful during counseling with a therapist.
So, keep a journal if you also face sudden mood swings and emotional distress at specific times. The journal will be helpful for you in figuring out which coping skill worked for you during times of stress.
Practice Meditation:
Meditation provides the peace of mind needed to deal with unexpectedly stressful scenarios. It increases awareness to help control emotions and feelings without therapy or medication.
You cannot get control of your emotions or better deal with them unless you have the acceptance power to move on with things in life. Meditation allows the body and mind to relax while creating better experiences apart from negative thoughts and stressful situations.
Final Thoughts:
Therapy is the best option if you want to heal your emotions and grief and nothing is working. You can seek help from a professional therapist or through counseling, or you can join a support group to connect with others facing the same issues.
We know opening up your heart in front of anyone means going through feelings of grief and disappointment again. However, the more we open our hearts and the feelings inside them to anyone, the less the pain will sting.
Healing is not impossible. It requires time, patience, and hard work, but when we muster up the courage to heal ourselves entirely from the mental stress, we can achieve our goal of staying happy and connected in life.
Chris Packham, LAADC, M-RAS, CCDS, CS
